U in US

Ø U don't open conversation (on telephone) with a "Hello" but with a"Hi" The telephone is never "engaged", it's always "busy". U don't "disconnect" a phone, U simply "hang-up".
Ø U never "mess-up" things, U only "screw them up".
Ø U never have a "residence" tel. no., U have a "home" no.
Ø U never have a "office" tel. no., U have a "work" no.
Ø U don't stop at the "signals", but halt at the "lights".
Ø U don't "accelerate", U "step on the gas".
Ø Your tyre never "punctures", U may have a "flat".
Ø The trains have "coaches" or "boggies' .,.no more ! but "carriages" or"boxes".
Ø There R no "petrol pumps", but "gas stations".
Ø "I don't know nothing", 2 negatives don't make a positive here.
Ø U no longer meet a "wonderful" person, U meet a "cool" guy
Ø U don't pull the switch down to light a bulb, rather flick it up.
Ø U don't "turn on the heat", U "turn on the juice".
Ø There's no "Business Area" ... only "business districts", and no"districts" but "counties".
Ø No one stays "a stone's throw away", rather "a few blocks away".
Ø There's no "Town Side", it's "Down Town".
Ø In hotel U no longer ask for "bill" and pay by "cheque",rather ask for "check" and pay with "bill"s (dollars).
Ø There R no "soft drinks", only "sodas".
Ø Life's no longer "miserable" it "stinks".
Ø U don't have a "great" time, U have a "ball".
Ø U don't "sweat it out", U "work U'r butt off".
Ø Never "post" a letter, always "mail" it and "glue" the stamps, don't"stick" them.
Ø U no longer live in "flats" , U live in "apartment".
Ø U don't stand in a "queue", you are in a "line".
Ø U no longer "like" something, U "appreciate" it.
Ø "#" is not "hash", it's "pound".
Ø U R not "deaf", U have "hearing impaired".
Ø U R not "lunatic", U are just "mentally challenged".
Ø U R not "disgusting", U R "sick".
Ø U can't get "surprised" U get "zapped".
Ø U don't "schedule" a meeting, U "skejule" it.
Ø U never "joke", U just "kid".
Ø U never "increase" the pressure, U always "crank" it up.
Ø U don't try to find a lift... U find an elevator.
Ø U no more ask for a route but for a "RAUT".
Ø U don't ask somebody "How r u ?", U say "What's up dude?" or U say " How U DOIN?"
Ø U never go to see a game U go to watch a game.
Ø If U see "World" champions (or Series), read "USA" champions (or Series).
Ø There's no "zero" but "O", no "Z"(zed) but "zee".
Ø There's no FULL STOP after a statement, there's a PERIOD.
Ø If someone gets angry at U, U get "flamed".
Ø U Drive Ur car on Parkways and always park your car in the Drive-Way!
Ø You do not ask for brinjal ... ask for Egg-Plant ..also there are no lady's finger ..its Okra !
Ø You do not say " He is a trouble creator " ..Rather u say "He's a pain in my ass"!
Ø U do not say.. Its a trivial job .. u say its a seat of the pantswork.
Ø Well u don't say life is boring u say, LIFE SUCKS !!!!!
Ø In short U don't speak English, U speak American.