Learnings from Life

Monday

Life and Love

My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him  for his steady  nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean  against his broad  shoulders. 
Three years of courtship and now, two years into  marriage, I would have  to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons  of me loving him  before, has now transformed into the cause of all my  restlessness. I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when  it comes to a  relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the  romantic moments, like a  little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my  complete opposite,  his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of  bringing romantic moments  into our marriage has disheartened me about love. One  day, I finally  decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a  divorce. 
"Why?" he asked, shocked. "I am tired, there are no  reasons for  everything in the world!" I answered.
He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep  thought with a  lighted cigarette at all times. 
My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was  a man who can't  even express his predicament, what else can I hope  from him? 
And finally he asked me:" What can I do to change  your mind?" Somebody  said it right, it's hard to change a person's  personality, and I guess,  I have started losing faith in him. 
Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : "Here  is the question,  if you can answer and convince my heart, I will  change my mind, Let's  say, I want a flower located on the face of a  mountain cliff, and we  both are sure that picking the flower will cause your  death, will you  do it for me?" 
He said :" I will give you your answer tomorrow...."  My hopes just sank  by listening to his response. 
I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw  a piece of paper  with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk  glass, on the dining  table near the front door, that goes.... 
My dear, 
"I would not pick that flower for you, but please  allow me to explain  the reasons further.."
This first line was already breaking my heart. I  continued reading. 
You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have  to save my legs to  rush home to open the door for you.
You love traveling but always lose your way in a new  city, I have to  save my eyes to show you the way. 
You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will  be infected by  infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you  jokes and stories  to cure your boredom. 
You always stare at the computer, and that will do  nothing good for  your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we  grow old, I can help  to clip your nails,and help to remove those annoying  white hairs. So I  can also hold your hand while strolling down the  beach, as you enjoy  the sunshine and the beautiful sand... and tell you  the colour of flowers,  just like the color of the glow on your young face... 
Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone  who loves you  more than I do... I could not pick that flower yet,  and die.. " 
"Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if  you are satisfied,  please open the front door for I am standing outside  bringing your  favorite bread and fresh milk... 
I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious  face, clutching  tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of  bread.... 
Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as  much as he does,  and I have decided to leave the flower alone...  
That's life, and love.
 

52 Comments:

  • Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!
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    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:45 PM  

  • hi

    ur thoughts r really cool

    wonderful ..

    By Blogger riyaz, at 12:18 AM  

  • that is truly beautiful and so touching that your loving,amazing husband did that for you ! You need to consider yourself very blessed,you need to lay with that man and tell him that he is very unique & loving !

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:11 AM  

  • Fucking stupid

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:30 AM  

  • beautiful

    By Blogger Bri, at 10:40 AM  

  • This is beautiful, though I doubt it could be true. Romance like this only happens in stories, at least in my world.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:36 AM  

  • Finally a woman got it right

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:44 AM  

  • Boo, Hoo! Poor little baby found someone to love and she's STILL not happy! Fucking women! Just because someone doesn't get all mushy and/or romantic, doesn't mean a god-damn thing! If you want a MAN to get all emotional and be sensitive to your needs, find a Homosexual man! My fucking GOD! All women can't be this unrealistic in their ideals.... If I was a woman-beater, I'd smack the shit out of you for being stupid! Boo-fucking-hoo!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:47 AM  

  • Cool story, and all, but don't you think you are a little selfish ( and i don't mean man against women kind of way). I'm tired of seening people expecting something to happen 2 them from someone else. If you wan't romance with your partner create it. You make a romantic gesture if he likes it he will follow you and return the favor. If not find someone else. Life is awesome either way :).

    By Anonymous Ta4ka, at 11:56 AM  

  • What animosity in the replies you've received...
    I stumbled upon this and absolutely loved what you had to say, especially when I am encountering similar emotions in my own relationship.
    Often times people don't realize how important romance is to keep a couple alive. It only saddens me that it had to come down to divorce before you said anything to him.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:02 PM  

  • by yearning for the romantic moments we can sometimes loose out on the one we are experiencing. Even though I whole heartedly agree sometimes what we are looking for is right in front of us...I would say that is very touching but don't forget this happened in a year or two and demand it happen again.
    love is whole when we can love others as we do ourselves.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:09 PM  

  • So if he hadn't written a nice note and brought some milk and bread she would have divorced him?

    This lady is quite superficial, or maybe just stupid.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:44 PM  

  • wow

    awesome story. shows that everybody has feelings even if you do a good job of hiding them...

    By Blogger meekamoo, at 1:48 PM  

  • That was great

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:15 PM  

  • I would have packed up my stuff and been out the next day. The fact that she goes straight to divorce instead of trying to express her concerns means she's really not that into the relationship anyway.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:24 PM  

  • I have been through a very similar situation but the difference is that I learned to love myself enough that I can put up with these circumstances and not let them bother me. I fill my days with activities that make ME happy and I stopped being so codependent on how another person makes me feel. After all we are responsible for our own emotions and should not blame anyone else for how we feel. Nobody should be able to control us like that. Love is unconditional it's not just walking out the door or getting a divorce because things don't go our way. Marriage has been and always will be 4 EVER a sacred vow between 2 people "till death do us part" unfortunately for many noadays marriage is just a joke. How sad!! It is so wonderful to stay and fight and then enjoy the fruits of our labor.

    By Anonymous True Love, at 2:50 PM  

  • How sad when a feeling or emotion allows us to decide we no longer want that person. We are not going to find what we want in another person, either, because the truth is that happiness lies within us and nobody can take that away from us unless we allow them to. I made this mistake twice and now I am married again but experience has taught me that my I dont need my husband to constantly sweet talk or hold my hand I am a loving but independent woman who doens't need to be babysat or constantly reminded of how much he loves me.

    By Anonymous Lady D, at 2:55 PM  

  • "I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!"

    Right. Definitely viable reason for divorce. Also, there were the broad shoulders.

    Your hubby is clever, persistent, poetic and has a well paid job. I reckon he'll be leaving you quite soon for someone who can appreciate his qualities, rather than some spoiled cow who's proud of her shallowness.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:57 PM  

  • Grow up. Life is not some sort of fairy tale, you are not a princess, and and constant desire for mawkish "romance" is the hallmark of an emotionally immature person.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:27 PM  

  • this woman is an idiot. get divorced and go die alone. you'll never be happy.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:08 PM  

  • very manipulative. If you have to do all of this to have a man answer the way you want them to answer, you call that love?

    Sorry I call that a wife who is indeed missing something exciting, maybe that "spark" that makes everything more interesting but the way you got that spark from your man wasn't right.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:28 PM  

  • Beautiful story!

    By Anonymous BK, at 11:50 PM  

  • Thank you... Your blog has helped me.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:45 PM  

  • That made my eyes tear up. What a great story.

    By Blogger bailiee, at 3:57 PM  

  • How old are you? 15? Basically, what you said is that you got bored and hubby better do something about it or you'll leave. Hm. What do you do for your husband, to balance out the relationship? Oddly, that note sounds like something one of you found on the net, and either you copied it to your blog--or your huband copied it for you to find. Either way, if you read the note closely, one can see that it actually describes a female who is childish and irresponsible and needs a lot of looking after. Your threat to leave worked this time, but romance is give-and-take, not take-and-give-ultimatums. Next time you try it, it may not work.
    jeana

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:31 PM  

  • hi.

    You're a twat.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:33 PM  

  • you selfish slut. he should leave you for you testing him and you being an unfaithful broad.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:53 AM  

  • I'd be out the door in a flash. Selfish, manipulative childish. To be honest, a bit scary.

    If you need to control your husband in that way, your relationship wont last long.

    Wierdo.

    By Anonymous Paul Rich, at 7:46 AM  

  • I don't like her. She does not deserve his love.

    By Blogger Christopher, at 8:32 AM  

  • Well, it turns out this is not an original blog post. This entry was not written by this blogger. He or she is merely passing it along. It's a lousy story in the first place, yet it's all over the net. By the way, some versions take liberties with their paraphrasing.
    If you type "I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk" into a search box, you will come up with a lot of versions.
    jeana

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:52 PM  

  • You are a pathetic manipulative bitch. He should have divorced YOU!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:11 PM  

  • Really touching.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:18 AM  

  • you suck.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:49 PM  

  • That was really amazing...I am an engineer myself, and Just from a mans point of view...wow. btw, you have been stumbled upon...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:04 PM  

  • Ahem....needy bitch.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:52 AM  

  • AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:51 AM  

  • So let me get this straight. You love that flower on the cliff, even though you haven't touched it or smelled it, and you love your husband less then that flower even though he's been
    with you for 5 years. You would want your husband to die to pick that flower? If he died whilst picking the flower you do realize that the flower would be gone too? That you'd have nothing. If this was a true story, you don't deserve your husband.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:48 PM  

  • Hey,

    What you described referring to his lack of romance in your life is common. I've heard it described alot, and I've read a great book about how to fix that and other problems that will change your relationship entirely. It's called 'The Five Love Languages' or something to that effect. It's by someone named Gary Chapman. I've understood the concept of the five love languages for a while, but once we read the book, my girlfriend and my relationship got way better and we both understood eachother much better. I highly recommend it.

    By Blogger Pat, at 12:22 PM  

  • You were going to leave a wonderful man because you were bored?!!
    WTF is wrong with people anymore!?
    Stupid ass!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:22 PM  

  • this is an interesting and somewhat charming sentiment in spots. Its sad that people have such difficulty with the notion of unconditional love..."convince me that you would die for me based on a whim?...because i'm bored with this relationship"..seems a bit morbidly self indulgent. Though it is nice that some perspective was gained at the end of the day....perhaps try BEING the person you expect others to be for you.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:13 AM  

  • Well, that is indeed life. But you make life the way you want it. You are the only one responsible for your life, so you need to take it into your own hands. I am only 22, but I already know, I never want to just "settle" with something/someone. That is only a waste of your life. :( Your husband sounds like a good guy, but not exciting.
    Fuck it all, no regrets. Take life by the horns. Go skydiving with your husband, be alive.

    - Thierry

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:18 AM  

  • How very sweet, this brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for that.

    By OpenID rexs-wife, at 8:10 AM  

  • U sucked in the beginning if u had to ask such a loving husband such a nonsense question.
    Value what you have before you end up on ur flat buttocks.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:36 AM  

  • Dear MSK.
    It was so refreshing reading your article /////specially the lines....sounded so close to me ....
    " You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails,and help to remove those annoying white hairs."
    You were too Good
    Sharad

    By Blogger Sharad, at 11:06 AM  

  • And here's one more he forgot-If it meant only losing my dick-I'd do it in a second, because if I stay married to you after that bullshit request-you'd have it anyway!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:55 PM  

  • don't believe you

    By Blogger mc, at 11:23 PM  

  • That is a really evil and extremely selfish thing to to to your husband. You are a horrible person for doing that to him.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:19 AM  

  • You are rather cruel and selfish. He deserves much better. You should do him the favour of leaving so he can find someone worth his effort.

    By Blogger David, at 7:17 AM  

  • man.. ur all assholes.
    like nobody in the world has ever felt neglected, and the loss of a spark in a relationship. people [not just women] like romance cuz its an expression of love, and yea sometimes you need to be shown. and for all u douches who think its a bad quality of women for wanting romance, why not pick up a bouquet and quit your bitching. its not that hard to know what women want or need, seriously, theyre called movies? where do you think women get these romantic ideas from? she just expected more from an engineer.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:44 AM  

  • Whomever anonymous is it strikes me as the worst sort or etiquette to say something like "man.. ur all assholes." If you are going to open flame wars for honest comments you really should not waste other people's time posting comment as annonymous. Take the credit take the blame but at least stand up for your opinions.

    I think the " Life and Love" entry indicates a person who would torment others for not taking the time to understand her place in her own relationship. At least she may have grown up a bit. She is at best naive and at worst negligent towards others. I have stared my opinion. The owner of the blog may not like it, but posting rude comments under anonymous is not really unacceptable.

    By Blogger David, at 6:20 AM  

  • your husband needs a good kicking

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:04 PM  

  • Sad as this may sound but what he wrote to you gave me goosebumps!

    Hope y'all make each other happy for many years to come! =)

    By Blogger Sabby, at 1:59 AM  

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